How to tell if your Marriage is in Trouble: Tips from Dr. Sue Johnson – Expert Marriage Therapist

Marriage is not always sunshine and rainbows. It takes work to maintain a happy and healthy relationship. But how do you know if your marriage is in trouble? According to Dr. Sue Johnson, a renowned relationship expert, the real barometer of a marriage’s health is distance.

Fighting is not the problem, but when there’s distance between you and your partner, that’s when you should be concerned. You may not feel safe, connected, or loved, and this can cause issues that may lead to the breakdown of your marriage. When you have those moments, it is okay to fight, but it’s the distance that should worry you.

Dr. Johnson’s book “Hold Me Tight” is based on 25 years of research and discusses what she calls “Demon Dialogues.” This is when one person complains and criticizes, while the other distances and stonewalls. The more one pulls back, the more the other pushes, and the couple get caught up in a negative dance that gains momentum.

In this video, Dr. Johnson advises couples to step back and look at the pattern they’re caught in. Learn how to reach for each other, calm each other down, and soothe each other. Lovers have a huge physiological impact on each other, and it’s important to understand how to pay attention to your marriage.

When you’re feeling connected, pay attention to the negative patterns that may emerge. Can you identify that you’re caught in a dreadful dance? Or are you starting to blame your partner? Your marriage is in trouble when you start to feel distant from your partner, like they’re not there for you and you can’t count on them. When it starts to feel dangerous, you know it’s in trouble.

Maintaining Emotional Safety in Your Marriage

Creating emotional safety is critical for a happy and healthy marriage. As a couple, it’s essential to prioritize your relationship, value your partner, and recognize when it starts moving away from emotional intimacy and towards distance. By doing so, you can prevent potential problems from turning into marriage trouble and identify issues before they get out of hand.

According to Dr. Sue Johnson, couples who actively take care of their relationship are more likely to stay connected and build a soulful marriage. Investing in your relationship through couples therapy or marriage counselling can also help you maintain emotional safety and strengthen your bond with your partner.

Seek Help from Qualified Psychologist Angela Fox for Couples Therapy

If you’re struggling with your marriage, consider seeking the help of a marriage therapist or counsellor. Couples therapy can be an active approach to marriage where you and your partner can work together to address issues before they become insurmountable. Remember, marriage is not about finding a soul mate, it’s about finding someone you can connect with and love – and then creating a soulful marriage. It takes work, but it can also be a place of relaxed joyfulness and aliveness.

If you’re in Cape Town and looking for a qualified psychologist to help you work through your marriage troubles, consider scheduling a relationship therapy session with Angela Fox. With her years of experience and expertise in couples therapy, Angela can help you and your partner identify the root causes of your marital issues and provide guidance on how to create emotional safety and connection in your relationship. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Contact Angela Fox today to take the first step towards a healthier, happier marriage.